Why I Joined A Sorority: Written By a Lifelong Tomboy

I was that girl in high school. The one that was always only really friends with guys, hated the color pink, and didn't learn how to wax my eyebrows until my sophomore year. Seriously, I have proof.

So when I came to college and joined a sorority, apparently everyone from my hometown simultaneously peed all over themselves. Which is what I'm assuming anyway, based off of the questions and exasperated responses that I've gotten from everyone. Still to this day actually, as I'm going into my third year of being a sorority woman, every time I go home, someone with the most sarcastic and unamused tone always asks, "so how are you liking your sorority" or "I can't believe YOU are in one of those."

So let me just break it down for you guys. 

To be totally honest, the main reason I began looking into the sororities at my school, is because I knew I would be going to college by myself, and although I'm an extremely outgoing person, I wanted to make friends. Apparently to some, that's not a good enough reason though, so I'll continue.

The second reason I was intrigued by sororities, was the philanthropic work that they do. At the time, I knew a few families with autistic children, and noticed that one of the organizations worked to benefit Autism Speaks, so I figured, I would want to be a part of something like that, something I can be passionate about and give back. I did a lot of volunteering in high school, and I personally really enjoy doing it.

Finally though, it was almost a social experiment for me. I was never one of the girls with the cute Coach cross over bags, or the Vera Bradley totes that I carried...okay seriously what do high school girls even have to carry around in one of those things? A few binders and some tampons? Regardless, that wasn't me. I wasn't in that clique of girls that did everything together and threw big pool parties at the beginning and the end of the year, and I didn't really care to be. Not that there was anything wrong with them, I was friends with quite a few girls like that actually, and we got along just fine. But I had heard all of these horror stories about sororities and what the girls are like, and I wanted to see if they were true, or if someone like me, who didn't know who Nicole Richie was dating, or care about the finale of The Hills, would really be as much of an outcast as everyone had claimed I would be.

What I found was...

After going through recruitment and getting my bid, I was almost ashamed of myself for believing all of the things that I had heard about these organizations. I found in my own chapter, a group of girls that was so diverse and accepting and supportive of each other, that it was like having another family as soon as I joined, based solely on this one thing that we had in common.

The friends, and the philanthropy that I was looking for was so much more than I could have ever imagined, and after the things I had heard and said, I wasn't sure I deserved to be a part of it.

Accepting my bid and becoming part of this little family that we've made here was one of the best decisions that I've ever made, and a shocking one I guess, to everyone, but I don't regret a second of it.

Sororities might not be for everyone though, and I'm not writing this to tell you that they are, but the reasons that are most popular about why someone wouldn't want to join are pretty funny if you ask me.

For example:

1. I shouldn't have to "pay for my friends."
• This one is one of my favorites. Our VP of Recruitment said it best when she responded to this with, "I don't think that I pay enough for the friends that I've made here." And she was right. The dues that we pay go to expanding our organization and building our foundations, not to parties and friends. 
2. I don't want to be the "stereotypical sorority girl."
• If anyone can find me a stereotypical sorority girl I would love that. I have met so many different women who are beyond diverse in such a copious amount of ways that it's not even funny. There is no stereotypical sorority girl. There is only your perception of movies and stories that you've seen or heard. You will never know until you experience it for yourself. 
3. My boyfriend doesn't want me hang out with "frat" guys all the time. 
•  Number one, fraternity, not frat, ever. Second, you are a big girl, you make your own decisions, even if you join a sorority, no one is going to force you to hang out with fraternity men. Will they be around? Sure. Does that mean your boyfriend has any reason to be upset with you? Not at all. He can hang out with you too, or them, this isn't second grade. 
4. It's just not for me/not my "thing."
• If you haven't tried it, you don't actually know. 

Those are just a few reasons I've heard that people think are completely justified without ever actually knowing better, and you might too. That's fine. We're all entitled to our own opinions, but don't put me down because of a decision I made that will ultimately benefit me in the future. Believe it or not, my life will go on without your approval. 

Love, 

Kayla 

What It Takes To Be Happy

Before I start, let me just say, this is in no way a "self help" type of post. I won't tell you the things a guy should do for you, the places you should live, or forty things to do before you die. I'm simply just going to tell you what it is that makes me happy.  (This one may be a little long, sorry.)

Being happy is a decision, one you make every day. Some can argue that this isn't true, and that other external factors change an individual's happiness, but that just simply isn't the case. At least not for me.

Take it from someone who has had my fair share of obstacles, and hardships, just like anyone else. Though I would never say that I've had it worse than someone, because the truth is, we never really know do we? My troubles could be a normal Tuesday for someone else, and yet here I am complaining about them, like it's the end of the world. That's not fair at all.

The things that happen to you don't define your outlook on life. Sure, they change your reasoning, your passions, and your opinions, but none of those things make you a happy or unhappy person. You do.

We can choose to dwell in the uncontrollable events and happenings within our lives, or we can choose to embrace the good that lies within.

It's so easy for us to focus solely on the stressful situations, the unexpected diagnosis, or the inevitable and unpredictable future, that we get so caught up in it, we forget to notice the good things going on around us.

The past two years of my life have been the hardest. I've made tough decisions, moved away from everyone I thought I cared about, took on a new town by myself, struggled through my freshman year in college, learned what it's like to be financially and academically on the edge, lost friends, lost family members, and had to face issues from my past that I used to not even be able to think about without bursting into tears. Doesn't sound like too much fun does it?

Yet, the past two years have also been the best two years thus far. My decisions were greeted by new beginnings, moving helped me create a new home for myself, struggling helped me become more responsible, more resilient, and to feel more accomplished. Losing friends taught me lessons that I would have needed to learn eventually, and made room for new people in my life, some of whom, also turned out to be the best people I've ever met. Losing family members is always hard, but in doing so, releasing them from their pain, and bringing my family closer together came out of it, and facing the issues that I tried so desperately to put to sleep, or pretend like they never happened, forced me out of my comfort zone, and taught me how to deal with things head on. The truth is, you can't run from the bad things in your life. There will always be ups and downs, but I can guarantee that if you look back, you can almost always find something good that happened because of it. Regardless of how big or small you think it might be. Like the time in 8th grade when I accidentally served a volleyball into the new coach's head at try outs and wasn't invited back...which led to me seeking out other things to get involved in, including an organization that opened countless doors for me. That's just a tiny example of things you don't realize are already in the works for you.

I heard a quote one day that said simply, "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." and that couldn't be more true. Especially for me. I think it's hard for us to realize sometimes that this life, our decisions, they've already been made, and though we may think we're in control of everything, we're really just along for the ride. So why do we fight so hard against it? And freak out so much when things don't go our way? When really...we should just, metaphorically speaking of course, sit back, throw our hands in the air, and enjoy it. Because nine times out of ten, it all works out anyway.

Love,
Kayla