1) Learn to properly shake a hand.
Nothing infuriates me more than meeting someone for the first time, and putting on my best impression face, and using my big girl hand shake, only to get some floppy wrist response. Please do not hand me a limp fish and assume I will respect it. This is something everyone should know, male or female. It's a respect thing, just do it right.
2) Eye contact.
Seriously, as a woman, you are already fighting an uphill battle when it comes to first impressions, and future successes. Do not present yourself as an airhead. You're making us all look bad. Make eye contact the entire time that you, or your company is speaking. Most importantly, don't begin a sentence and then look away for the rest of what you're saying. You look disinterested, snobby, and dumb. I'm sorry, but you do.
3) If you cannot walk in heels, don't.
Heels are a mysterious super power that we as women posses. Personally, I feel the most on top of my game when I am dressed nicely and strutting around in a pair of my favorite heels. However, nothing says power or impressive when you're walking around like a baby giraffe. I don't care if you're sporting the newest shoe from your favorite Louis Vuitton collection, don't look like you're learning how to walk for the first time. If you just can't get the walking at an elevation thing right, don't be ashamed of it. Get yourself some killer and comfortable flats and work it, because you won't look stupid.
4) Pick up your feet.
While we're on the topic of feet, please remember not to drag yours. It is one thing to shuffle around at home in your slippers, but anywhere else it is unacceptable, and extremely irritating. I have no advice for this one, just don't do it.
5) Know the difference between attractive, and appropriate.
I know that there is a huge urge to always look appealing, but you have to keep in mind that you are not a walking billboard for those nasty magazines that they sell in gas stations. Women who want to be respected, have to dress the part. Keep your boobs, belly, and butt covered at all times. A personal battle of mine is finding hem lines that are an appropriate length because of my long legs, but regardless, it can be done, please don't wear an outfit that you wouldn't have to change out of in order to go to a bar.
6) Choose mints over gum.
I love gum, it's great, and if it's all you have then please choose it over having bad breath, but if you're in a meeting or you're having a conversation then please spit it out first, discretely of course. If you're chomping on gum while someone else has the floor then you look rude and disinterested, not to mention, depending on your chewing style, it can be kind of gross and distracting. Mints are cheaper and come in larger quantities, so grab some next time you're standing in line to check out
7) NEVER "Dumb yourself down"
If you think that the crowd that you're hanging out with will accept you more if you lower yourself to a different level, find a new crowd to hang out with. You should never pretend to be less than your full potential. It's never worth it, and neither are those people.
8) Know that it's okay if not everyone likes you.
There will be times in your life that you run into people, girls or guys, who for some reason just aren't a fan of yours. Save yourself the time and effort, and don't waste a week thinking about it. Now, if it's someone you work with and it needs to be addressed, than by all means please address the situation and get it under control, but if not, then learn how to blow people off. You're awesome, and you know it, so who cares what anyone else thinks?
9) You can never be over dressed.
I'm obviously not lobbying for you to wear your favorite prom dress to your next job interview, and please don't. But, if you have an appropriate outfit that makes you feel comfortable and confident, then wear it! Don't worry about what other people have on. Remember, you can never be over dressed, at worst, you'll just look better than everyone else.
10) Don't ever compare yourself to other girls.
What you need to know now, and accept forever, is that you are not and will never be (insert name of the girl you are already thinking of here). However, you have qualities that she doesn't have, you have things going for you that she doesn't, and you are not her. It's also important to remember that you never know what is going on in someone else's life. That girl could be desperate to have a life like yours. So spend a little less time comparing and complaining, and a little more time being happy with what you have and working hard to get what else you want.
11) Don't ever hide from an ex.
It's happened to all of us. You walk into your local Walmart or Movie Theater, and there he is, mister I used to think you were perfect. Your first reaction is to duck and hide, but don't do it. I'm not saying walk up to the guy and tell him your whole life story, but be confident. Be sure of yourself. If it didn't work, then it was for a reason. Don't let him hold any power over you. If approached, simply smile, make conversation and take the opportunity to either brag on yourself (subtly) or stay mysterious, whichever seems more appropriate in the conversation. Either way, know who you are and don't hide from him, that way if one of you has to walk away feeling bad about yourself, it won't be you.
12) Respect everyone.
I don't care if it's a colleague, a teacher, a stranger in the grocery store, or your boyfriend's mom. Respect everyone. Mainly because it's a good character trait to posses, but also because you never know who these people are, what you might need them for later on, what relationship you might build, or if they may be your boss. So watch your mouth. Know the line between assertive and aggressive and pick the right side of it.
13) Have a year where you say, "yes" to any opportunity thrown your way.
For me, I decided to make this choice when I went to college. Because of it, I joined a sorority, got involved on campus, met a million people, made a ton of friends, went on fun trips, attended cool events, and became a part of different executive boards and officer teams of organizations. Honestly, this might be my favorite of all of these, obviously you have to use your best judgement, but if the only reason you have to say no to something is because you aren't really sure, then do it anyway. You'll be surprised with how far it can take you.
14) Always make time for the people that matter.
Whether it be your mom, your best friend, a sibling, a significant other, or your dog. Spend time with the people you care about. Make sure they know how much you care and make a serious effort to be there for them. It will make you feel good about yourself, and they'll remember it when you're in a time of need, or when you need a good word said about you. Your family and friends are where your networking habits begin.
15) Never let anyone make you think you can't.
Have huge ambitions, and be proud of them. Steve Jobs once said, "The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do." and he was right. Don't let anyone make you think that your ideas are unattainable. Know your worth, and know your ambition is a good thing. Never let anyone make you think that you should give up on a dream, because that is never true, and trust me, you'll regret it.
Do yourself a favor, and try a few of these out. I would be surprised if you didn't feel better, and have more self confidence.
Love always,
Kayla
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