What It Really Means to be the "Mom" of Your Friend Group

Everyone knows one. The girl who everyone calls, "Mom". She's not actually related to you, half of the time she's not even older than you, but she takes care of every one in your group of friends like they are her own. Sometimes, to a fault.

Sometimes it means losing sleep.
      Whether it's losing sleep because she's worried for you, or because she's up all night texting you back to assure you that you are in fact not the only crazy person on the face of the planet, and that whatever traumatic thing you're going through isn't as bad as it seems, and it will all get better.

Sometimes it means being in public at your worst.
       Sometimes being the "mom" means getting out of bed at night to go pick up a friend who had one to many. Or to come over and hold you while you cry, or your hair while you get sick. Sometimes it means arguing with you even when you're yelling about how much you hate her because she won't let you drive yourself home, or go home with someone you'll probably regret in the morning.

Sometimes it means learning not to crave recognition.
       As selfish as this one sounds, it's reality. We all crave recognition. Whether it be for doing something well, or being right, we all secretly want to be recognized. However, when you're the "mom" of the group, sometimes you have to learn to step back. After awhile, and enough favors, people tend to expect the "mom" behavior out of you, and your good deeds are no longer that, but something you're expected to do because, "it's just how you are".

Sometimes it means feeling lonely.
       Even though you're surrounded by people, sometimes you feel like you have no one to talk to. It may be something you create in your own mind, but you've gotten so used to putting on the mask of a person who has it all together, and you feel like you can't turn to the people who always turn to you.

Sometimes it means awkward situations.
      Whether it be getting stuck between two friends who both come to you for advice on the subject of one another, or being in a situation where you have to give some tough love even though you know it may blow back in your face, they'll both happen eventually. When most sane people would just stay out of it and know that it isn't any of their business, you just can't stand idly by when there's something someone you love should hear, even if it means they'll be upset with you.

Sometimes it means being the bad guy.
       The tough love aspect isn't always fun. Sometimes you feel that you have to tell someone you care about, something they don't want to hear, and while you know you have their best interest at heart, it's still never fun to hear the negative responses, or to go through the not speaking phase.

Sometimes it means swallowing your pride.
      When the tough love blows back, and you tell the truth, and the friend who needs to accept it just won't, a lot of the time, they say things they don't mean and they explode, and they avoid you for awhile. But if you turn out to be right, and what you feared would happen did, and your friend needs someone to console them, you're the first one at the door. Never offering an, "I told you so," or "you should've listened to me" you just try to make them feel better, and slowly forgive the things they did or said, without ever bringing them up again.

But it always means love.
      Whether they drive you crazy, or give you a reason to get up in the mornings, being the "mom" of a friend group means that you have people in your life worth protecting. People that are close, and that you love and would do anything for, and that's a lot more than what some people can say.

So if you're the "mom" and you ever feel taken for granted, just try to remember that even if they don't show it the same way that you do, those people love you too.

Love,
Kayla